Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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