Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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