I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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