One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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