lets start a swedish sibling band together
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
