Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
