everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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