Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
