fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
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the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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