Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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