I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That accounts for only three of the penises
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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