There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize