i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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