After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
