Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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