thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
