I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
