Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
