That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
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it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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