you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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