So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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