we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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