You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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