Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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