i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
