Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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