I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
