Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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