Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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