I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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