you didnt know i had herpes?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize