Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I died a long time ago.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
