im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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