Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
