Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
