ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
