if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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