My hair reeks of homosexuality.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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