the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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