i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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