I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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