I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
