I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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