Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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