I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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