i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
