i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This house was built for laser tag.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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