she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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