Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize