STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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