please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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