Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
