you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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