Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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