The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
3 2 1 whiskey
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
