ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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